This article on the differences between happy and sad people really hit home for me:
Why? It reminded me how some job seekers are struggling to find work because they are in “attitude denial.”
Our Happiness Assessment Can Be Off-base
If you are like me, when you read the article above, you'll give yourself a little quiz. I went through each one and asked myself, “Which one is more like me?” At the end, I concluded, while I could do an even better job, overall, I’m a happy person. I bet a good number of people who read it felt that way too.
However, I guarantee some of those people didn't evaluate themselves accurately. Especially, some job seekers. Here's proof…
She's Got an Excuse & Criticism for Everything, Yet…
I sent this article to a former colleague who has been going through a tough time in a job search. I wanted her to give herself the quiz and hopefully we’d be able to have an honest dialog about how she needed to change her attitude and approach the search differently. To me, she displays all fifteen of the “bad” traits on this list. Well, imagine my surprise when she emailed me back and said, “This is so true! It proves I’m a happy person. I’m all the things on this list. And yet, I can’t find a job. What’s wrong with employers?! How come they don’t see how what an asset I’d be?” I almost fell off my chair. Was it possible that she truly couldn’t see she wasn’t a happy person? Obviously, by her email, the answer is “yes.” It reinforced for me how we can't always be objective about our attitude. There are a lot of job seekers out there assuming they exude happiness and approach the hunt with a positive attitude. Meanwhile, the rest of the world sees them as miserable - and secretly opts not to help them with their search.
Nobody Risks Their Professional Reputation for a "Debbie Downer"
Years ago, the show Saturday Nite Live had a character called, Debbie Downer. She was negative about everything. (Wah, wah WAH!) It caused the people she came in contact with to want to run in the other direction. Anyone who watched a segment of that skit could identify with someone in their life who acted like Debbie. Job seekers can take on these traits as well. They become negative and needy, causing their closest circle of friends, family and colleagues to avoid them. Why? They too, know it's pointless to try to help someone who is so negative. And, they certainly aren't going to recommend a "Debbie Downer Job Seeker" to members of their network for fear they will hurt their reputation. When it comes to our careers, people want to be associated people with a winning attitude - not a losing one.
Take the Quiz...Then, Get a Second, Third, and Fourth Opinion
If you’ve been struggling to find work and feel you meet the happiness requirements on this quiz, then I encourage you to get additional opinions. Specifically, ask people you trust, respect, and know you well to give you honest feedback as to which of the traits on this list you could be doing a better job with.
And, if you're thinking "J.T., you don't know how hard it is to stay happy in a job search."
You are wrong. I work with hundreds of people every month who are unemployed, under-employed, or miserable in their jobs. I know what they are feeling - it's my job to let them open up to and share their true feelings. I deal with unhappy people all day long. (Plus, I was there once myself.)
How Do You Stay Happy?
Please share your tips for staying happy in the comments below. I'd love to hear from readers what they do to keep their attitude on the bright side.
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