Five Steps to Vanquish Any Problem

Be A Hero: Five Steps to Vanquish Any Problem

If you don´t see yourself as part of the problem, you cannot be part of the solution.

Every culture teaches this through a similar story. Joseph Campbell, anthropologist and advisor for Star Wars, called it “The Hero with a Thousand Faces.” The hero starts his journey feeling at the mercy of external circumstances. By the end, he realizes he is in control of his destiny. He knows that he can choose how to behave, learn and grow.

Teaching accounting at MIT, I saw how numbers shape perceptions. Coaching leaders all over the world, I learned how stories shape lives. Good stories inspire you; bad stories disempower you. The worst stories are the ones that have you as a victim.

Heroes are not just mythical characters. They are examples of you at your best. Here are five suggestions to always remember who you are.

1. No problem -- Take the challenge

There is no such thing as a problem. What you call "a problem" is not a thing independent of you, but a situation you don´t like. It is “a problem for you.” To deal with it more effectively, put yourself in the picture. Think of it as your challenge. Take the difficulty as an opportunity to show your true colors.

I often catch myself saying, “the real problem is…” followed by the thought, “…that you don´t agree with me!” Equally often, my counterpart argues that “the real problem is…” that I don´t agree with him. Unless we recognize and give up these bad stories, we will each push hard to overcome the other. Push versus push equals stuck: a very expensive stalemate where we both spend tremendous energy for no result.

2. Drop “Who's responsible?” – Be response-able

You didn't do it. So what? You are suffering from it. People and things are out of control. It is tempting to blame them and play the part of the innocent victim. Don't. The price of innocence is impotence. That which you blame you empower. Become the hero of the story; focus on what you can do to respond to your challenge.

The inspiring question is not, “why is this happening to me!” but “what is the best I can dowhen this happens?”

I once coached a financial services executive who would always blame external factors: regulation, competition, the economy, his employees, his boss, his peers. All these forces did impinge on his goals. It was the truth, but not the whole truth. The truth that he refused to accept, the one that blocked his growth, was that he was able to respond to these forces.

3. Forget what you don´t want – Focus on what you want.

Consider an issue that troubles you. What would you like to have happen? I ask this every time I coach. Infallibly, I learn what my client would like to not have happen anymore. This is a bad end for a hero´s journey. Avoiding what you don´t want will take your energy away from achieving what you do want.

Your brain doesn't compute “no”. What you try to avoid you unconsciously create. If you don´t believe this, try to not think of a white bear right now and notice where your mind goes. Define a positive outcome precisely. Ask yourself, "What do I really want?" and visualize it in as much detail as you can. This will force you to put some flesh on the conceptual bones. Furthermore, ask yourself, “How would I know that I got what I wanted? What would I see? What would I feel?” In this way you will be sure that your vision has observable standards by which to measure success.

4. Take one eye off the ball – Go for the gold.

It’s not about hitting the ball; it’s about winning the game. Set your mind on what you are ultimately trying to achieve. Build a chain from means to ends, taking you from getting the job, to advancing your career, to feeling professionally fulfilled, to being happy. The ultimate goal and measure of success is happiness.

“What would you get, if you achieved X, which is even more important to you than X?” Ask yourself this question and discover that you never ask for what you really want—and neither does anybody else. We all ask for what we think is going to give us what we really want. Have you ever bought set of golf clubs hoping they would make you play better? And what would you get, if you played better, which is even more important to you than playing better?

5. Failure is not an option – Succeed beyond success.

Commit fully to achieve what you really want. Know that you deserve it and give it your best. This will make you more likely to get it. Success, however, is not the most important thing. To be a hero, pursue your goal ethically, as an expression of your highest values. Success may give you pleasure, but integrity leads to happiness.

Don't aim at success--the more you aim at it and make it (your final) target, the more you are going to miss it. For true success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one's personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself. Listen to what your conscience commands you to do and carry it out to the best of your knowledge." 

The Best Answer Is a Question

When we give people advice or answer their questions, we often have to sell them on the answer. Think about it in your own family. When a child asks you a question, you, as the adult, give them the answer. But you’ve likely heard the old saying, “In one ear and out the other,” so you have to sell them on the idea that what you’re giving them is good advice and they should follow it.

The same is true for business. When you give people answers to their questions, you don’t necessarily know how they’re receiving it. Even if you think you can read their body language and facial expression, there are still doubts. Have they really embraced it? Have they accepted it? Do they like that answer? Will they act on it?

The ultimate answer, I believe, is already in the person who is asking the question. That’s why the best answer is to give them a question that helps them clarify the answer they already know. Here’s an example of this.

Years ago, I was out in my front yard when a boy from my neighborhood came walking toward me, crying.

“What’s wrong, Tommy?” I asked.

He told me that his dog had died. He then looked up at me through his tears and asked: “Mr. Burrus, do you think there are dogs in heaven?”

What should I say? I could have given him some religious or theological answer, and it would have meant nothing to him. I could have asked, “What religion are you? Do you believe in heaven or hell? Do you believe in God?” But all of those questions wouldn’t have given him any answers. I could have simply said, “Absolutely! Of course!” but would that reassure him or make him feel any better? I doubted it. After all, what did it really matter what I thought? The real question was, what did he think?

I looked into his eyes and said: “Tommy, would heaven be heaven without dogs?”

He thought for a moment, nodded slowly, and gave a heartbreaking smile. “Thanks, Mr. Burrus.”

Why did that approach work? Because Tommy already knew the answer. What I did was give him a question that clarified the answer in his mind, which made it an extremely powerful answer because the answer did not come from me, it came from him.

For most of the questions people ask, the answer is inside of them—even you. In other words, when someone asks you a question, they already know the answer. It just hasn’t been clarified in their mind yet.

Therefore, a powerful trait of great leaders is to understand how to use clarifying questions to pull the answer out of the person who is asking the initial question. When you use this approach, the answer does not have to be sold; it will be embraced because the answer is theirs. So ask away. The questions, the answers, and the results will surprise you.

Team Work

How to Turn Your Weaknesses Into Strengths

We all have weaknesses, and we tend to try to work on eliminating them - on changing ourselves in order to become better. But change is difficult- very difficult. What if instead of trying to eliminate our weaknesses, we embraced them for what they were?

Several months ago, my friend Ben Rosner, CEO of e-home and a fellow member ofEntrepreneur's Organization, led an activity on weaknesses and strengths with my EO Forum group, based on the excellent Freak Factor manifesto by David Rendall. I found the activity to be so insightful and inspiring, I did the activity with my team at Likeable Local- and then with our team at Likeable Media. I thought I'd share it with you here as well:

Think about your biggest weaknesses at work and in life. What qualities are you most unhappy about? Of the following list of 16 typical weaknesses, look carefully and choose the three that resonate most with you:

1) Disorganized
2) Inflexible
3) Stubborn
4) Inconsistent
5) Obnoxious
6) Emotionless
7) Shy
8) Irresponsible
9) Boring
10) Unrealistic
11) Negative
12) Intimidating
13) Weak
14) Arrogant
15) Indecisive
16) Impatient

Got your three biggest weaknesses? Great. (Don't be too depressed, the rest of this activity is more fun). Next, look at the below list, find the same three weaknesses, and look at the traits to the right of each of your three biggest weaknesses:

1) Disorganized ---> Creative
2) Inflexible ---> Organized
3) Stubborn ---> Dedicated
4) Inconsistent ---> Flexible
5) Obnoxious ---> Enthusiastic
6) Emotionless ---> Calm
7) Shy ---> Reflective
8) Irresponsible ---> Adventurous
9) Boring ---> Responsible
10) Unrealistic ---> Positive
11) Negative ---> Realistic
12) Intimidating ---> Assertive
13) Weak ---> Humble
14) Arrogant ---> Self-Confident
15) Indecisive ---> Patient
16) Impatient ---> Passionate

The three qualities to the right of your three weaknesses are all strengths.

Hidden in your weaknesses are your strengths.

Every weakness has a corresponding strength.

The idea here is simple: Instead of trying to change your weaknesses, accept them. Don't try to fix them - it's too difficult. Instead, be sure to leverage your associated strengths. You can look to colleagues, direct reports, and even supervisors to fill in the gaps where you are weakest. Don't be afraid to ask people for help- they can add value where you are weaker. Butbe sure to embrace your strengths, and build upon them. After all, your strengths (even those disguised as weaknesses) - will get you far in your career, and in life.

Bad at Their Jobs, and Loving It

A company’s best employees should also be its happiest and most engaged, but that’s not always the case.

It’s a living.

A new study finds that, in 42% of companies, low performers actually report being more engaged – more motivated and more likely to enjoy working at their organization, for example – than middle and high performers do.

The findings suggest many organizations are not holding employees accountable for their work, allowing the worst workers to skate by, says Mark Murphy, CEO of Leadership IQ, the Atlanta-based consulting firm that conducted the survey.

“Low performers often end up with the easiest jobs because managers don’t ask much of them,” he said, so they’re under less stress and they’re more satisfied with their daily work lives.

Meanwhile, dedicated and conscientious workers end up staying at the office late, correcting the work of the low performers, and making sure clients or customers are satisfied. This pattern breeds frustration and disengagement in the high performers—and perhaps ultimately drives them to seek work elsewhere. “They feel stressed and undervalued, and it starts to undermine the high performers’ confidence that the organization is a meritocracy,” said Mr. Murphy.

To remedy the situation, managers should speak frankly with high and middle performers, ferreting out what frustrations might potentially send them looking for new opportunities. They should also find out what could motivate them to stick around, he added.

To arrive at its findings, Leadership IQ looked at data from 207 companies that kept detailed records of both performance evaluations and engagement surveys.

In the remaining 58% of organizations surveyed, high performers were the most engaged, or engagement scores were about equal among the employees. In the rarest cases, Murphy said, the middle performers were the most engaged.  That segment of the workforce—the employees who are neither superstars nor slackers—tends to be ignored by managers, he said.

Leadership IQ also looked into the specific dynamics of one company, a 1,000-person technology-services firm, where low performers reported high levels of engagement.  It found that, on a 7-point scale, low performers gave a 5.99 score when rating the statement “I am motivated to give 100% effort when I’m at work.” High performers gave an aggregate score of 5.36 and middle performers’ score was 5.32, the lowest.

Low performers were also more likely than the other two groups to recommend their company as a “great organization to work for.” And in many cases, they didn’t even realize they were low performers. When asked whether the employees at the company “all live up to the same standards,” low performers were far more likely to agree with the statement than their higher-achieving counterparts.

How To Find 6-Figure Jobs In The Hidden Job Market

Did you know hundreds of thousands of high five- and six- figure jobs are filled each month that are never seen on job boards? Meanwhile, the 15% to 20% of positions that make it to job boards are “jumped on” by 95% of job seekers! That sheds some light on why job seekers complain of never getting any responses from job boards. The truth is that the problem isn’t with you or your resume: Job boards yield an average 1% response rate. That’s awful!



The Hidden Job Market Defined

So ,what exactly is the hidden job market? This refers to positions that are filled without ever being advertised. Since this represents the majority of positions, it makes sense for job seekers to learn how to reverse engineer a job search and take proactive control.

Job seekers should focus efforts toward identifying those companies that match their target and then reach out to introduce themselves. There is an art to this, but with a little effort job seekers can tap into a huge pool of jobs with less completion and often more salary negotiation room – because once jobs make it to a job board, the process (salary/job description/requirements) becomes more solidified.

The Hidden Job Market And Networking

Many job seekers are led to believe the hidden job market is a code word for networking. Actually, pure networking can add months to a job search, if that is the only method used – turning that word so many career pros tout into another frustrating and expensive alternative to job boards.

To compound this, many job seekers believe networking means asking everyone they know if they are aware of any companies that are hiring and handing their resume out.  You will notice this method, too, is very passive and puts someone else in control of the job search process.

Again, tapping into the pool of hidden jobs means taking more leadership than usual, and that is achieved by initiating a self-directed approach.

Networking is important to master because it is a part of many job search strategies, but it is backed up by recognizing shared goals and asking for informational interviews – not open positions. This way, if there are open positions, the lines of communication are open – plus, you will open the door to connect with professionals who can help in other ways.

Strategies For Tapping Into The Hidden Job Market

Now we know the hidden job market is not code for “do more networking.”

The question is – how does one find and capitalize on unadvertised jobs?

The short answer: Find companies within a particular industry and contact the key decision maker directly.

Before a job seeker does this, he or she must have a focus in order to craft a value proposition. Your value proposition is essentially, “the promise of an experience that a potential employer is going to have by hiring you” and this is supported by quantifiable achievements. Many job seekers find it difficult to quantify their accomplishments – often referencing the task oriented nature of the position they hold. However, I have found that struggles to quantify achievements is as easy as shifting ones focus from “what you do” to “what happens when you do it”. Most all employed professionals make or save their employers money – even if they don’t think of themselves that way.

Value propositions in the form of letters or resumes that show results are REALLY interesting to key decision makers (meaning – executives high up enough that they are primarily focused on strategies for revenue generation, cost savings and growth).

With social media and “free” tools like Google, It is extremely fast and easy to find companies and key contact names in most every industry and geographic location. Job seekers can also use associations and online trade journals to develop their list of companies to reach out to.

Job seekers can “track” growth in various industries using Google News Alerts. Contacting companies for a reason such as winning an award, being acquired or going through a merger, releasing a product, strong growth or profit reports or a corporate move or expansion are all exceptional reasons to explain why one is reaching out,  and shows the job seeker as a professional with tremendous initiative.

No matter what is happening in the economy, one thing is true: Companies will ALWAYS be interested in hiring professionals who can demonstrate they can help make or save money. That is why the hidden job market offers abundant opportunities to maximize leverage and minimize “liabilities” and competition. Perhaps the best thing about unadvertised positions is that no matter if you are looking for a new grad job, if you are a mid-level manager or a senior executive – the hidden job market is THE place to fully leverage your career opportunities

10 Things To Do Every Workday

I’ve always been focused on performance. I’m a list person. I love the feeling of crossing things off. It makes me feel productive. Plus, consistent productivity has the wonderful byproduct of accomplishing more. Jeff Haden’s recent article on Linkedin summarizes the value of having a daily to-do list beautifully: You don’t wait to do the work until you get the dream job - you do the work in order to get the dream job.

I’ve never shared this list with anyone until now.

It’s the list of ten things I try to do every workday. Yes, there are days when I don’t get them all done, but I do my best to deliver. It has proven very effective for me. They are:

1. Read something related to my industry.
2. Read something related to business development.
3. Send two emails to touch base with old colleagues.
4. Empty my private client inbox by responding to all career coaching questions within one business day.
5. Check in with each team member on their progress.
6. Have a short non-work related conversation with every employee.
7. Review my top three goals for my company that are focused on it's growth.
8. Identify and execute one task to support each of my top three goals.
9. Post five valuable pieces of content on all my major social media accounts.
10. Take a full minute to appreciate what I have and how far I’ve come.

This list could be longer. BUT...

If it was longer, I wouldn’t be as good at getting them all done. This list is manageable to me. Of course, I do more than these ten things every day. But, these are the ten I choose to do with consistency. Why? Over the years, they’ve proven the best way for me to grow my career and my business. The collective results have made completing these tasks consistently; even when I don’t feel like it, well worth it.

17 Ways to Be Happier at Work

It's not difficult to experience more joy at work. You just need to know the rules.

A reader recently pointed me to some "rules for a happier life" that various folks have posted in various forms. Here's my take on those rules as they apply to the workplace:

1. Don't compare yourself to others.

Everybody, and I mean everybody, starts out in a different place and is headed on their own journey. You have NO idea where someone else's journey might lead them, so drawing comparisons is a complete waste of time.

2. Never obsess over things you cannot control.

While it's often important to know about other things--like the economy, the markets that you sell to, the actions that others might take, your focus should remain on what you actually control, which is 1) your own thoughts and 2) your own actions.

3. Know and keep your personal limits and boundaries.

While your job might sometimes seem like the most important thing in your world, you're killing a part of yourself if you let work situations push you into places that violate your privacy and your integrity.

4. Don't over commit yourself or your team.

It's great to be enthusiastic and willing to go the "extra mile," but making promises that you (or your team) can't reasonably keep is simply a way to create failure and disappointment.

5. Remember you get the same amount of time every day as everyone else.

You may feel you're short on time and that you need more of it, but the simple truth is that when the day started, you got your fair share: 24 hours. Nobody got any more than you did, so stop complaining.

6. Don't take yourself so seriously; nobody else does.

The ability to laugh at your foibles not only makes you happier as a person, it makes you more powerful, more influential and more attractive to others. If you can't laugh at yourself, everyone else will be laughing behind your back.

7. Daydream more rather than less.

The idea that daydreaming and working are mutually exclusive belongs back in the 20th century. It's when you let your thoughts wander that you're more likely to have the insights that will make you both unique and more competitive.

8. Don't bother with hate; it's not worth the effort.

Hate is an emotional parasite that eats away at your energy and health. If something is wrong with the world and you can change it, take action. If you can't take action, you're better off to forgive and forget.

9. Make peace with your past lest it create your future.

Focusing on past mistakes or wrongs inflicted on you is exactly like driving a car while looking in the rear view mirror. You'll keep heading in the same direction until you collide with something solid.

10. Don't try to "win" every argument.

Some battles aren't worth fighting, and many people are easier to handle when they think they've won the argument. What's important isn't "winning," but what you, and the other people involved, plan to do next.

11. Remember that nobody is in charge of your happiness except you.

While some work environments are inherently difficult, if you're consistentlymiserable it's your fault. You owe it to yourself and your coworkers to either find a job that makes you happy or make the best of the job you've got.

12. Smile and laugh more frequently.

Contrary to popular belief, smiling and laughter are not the RESULT of being happy; they're part of a cycle that both creates and reinforces happiness. Find reasons to smile.  Never, ever suppress a laugh.

13. Don't waste precious energy on malice and gossip.

Before you tell a story about anybody else, or listen to such a story, ask yourself four questions: 1) Is it true? 2) Is it kind? 3) Is it necessary? and 4) Would I want somebody telling a similar story about me?

14. Don't worry what others think about you; it's none of your business.

You can't mind read and you don't have everyone else wired into a lie detector. Truly, you really have NO IDEA what anyone is REALLY thinking about you. It's a total waste of time and energy to try.

15. Remember that however bad (or good) a situation is, it will inevitably change.

The nature of the physical universe is change. Nothing remains the same; everything is, as the gurus say, transitory. Whether you're celebrating or mourning or something in between, this, too, will pass.

16. Trash everything in your work area that isn't useful or beautiful.

Think about it: you're going to spend about a third of your waking adult life at work. Why would you want to fill your work environment--and that part of your life--with objects that are useless and ugly?

17. Believe that the best is yet to come, no matter what.

When my grandmother was widowed in her 70s, she went back to college, traveled across Europe in youth hostels, and learned Japanese painting, among many other activities. The last thing she told me was: "You know, Geoffers, life begins at 90."

Friends Who Only Phone When They Want Something

I am sure that you, like me, have friends who only call when they want something. I recently realised I have become tired of phoning them to ask them out to places and they never proactively phone us. As I reflect I realise this really tells me what they think about us, which is clearly not very much! As a result I have come to the conclusion they aren’t really friends. If we have to make all the effort it doesn’t feel like it’s a productive, equal, fruitful relationship. It’s now all too much hassle and I feel disenchanted so, sadly, I now don’t bother calling them anymore. As a consequence we haven’t spoken for a while as they haven’t phoned me. I am sure we all have ‘friends’ like that.

Why am I telling you this story? I have just had a call from one of the charities to whom we contribute each month. If I am honest my reaction to the phone call was similar to the one I have when our ‘friends’ call.

The call started with them telling me how much they appreciated our regular donation and how the money we donate is being used well. But as they were talking I couldn’t help thinking ‘….any minute now you are going to ask me for more money’. I wasn't disappointed. After the call I reflected on how I felt. I knew I should be thinking of the good the money was doing and I should think they are only trying to do more good by raising more money, but the reality was I felt disenchanted. I donate money regularly and the only call I get from them is asking for money – they only contact me when they want something.

The great Steven Covey talked about the concept of an emotional bank account. The concept is simple. People do positive and negative things to you. They do things to you that you like and make a deposit into your emotional bank account. There are also times when people don’t do things you like and make withdrawals from your emotional bank account. When I get calls like this from my ‘friend’ asking for something, he is making a withdrawal from my ‘emotional bank account’. When the account is at zero they go into overdraft and as that overdraft continues to increase I start to question if they are really friends, as surely this is meant to be a two way process.

The same applies with organizations and their Customer Experience. It seems that most organizations rarely invest in a real relationship with Customers. I believe companies and charities, should just call their Customers and say thanks and tell them how much they appreciate their custom/contribution and do nothing else on the call. This would make deposits in the Customers emotional bank account. Then when they phone and ask for more money, or tell them about a great deal they have I may listen to them a little longer and thusimprove Customer retention and the charities/companies would gain more money. I would love to know if anyone has tried this approach….

Vital Habits Of The Successful Professional

7 Vital Habits Of The Successful Professional

Passenger Or Pilot: Which One Are You?

It’s easy to think we are all doing what we can to take control of our careers. However, this article points out a misassumption some people make: Thinking they lack control over certain aspects of their career. Or worse, not even bothering to try to take control.

In our careers, we are either a:

A) Passenger – an employee held hostage by Golden Handcuffs.

B) Pilot – a business-of-one who is in charge of our destiny.

I can see why being a passenger in your career might be attractive. You get to leave the scary, intense work of navigating to the pilot. But, is that what you really want? Currently, I’m seeing a shift in our workforce’s mentality.

More and more people are seeking Professional Emancipation as part of the natural evolution of the employee. (See infographic here.) They are tired of being a passenger and want to learn how to become the pilot of their career. That being said, here are the seven tips from that Inc. article re-tooled for those seeking to become an ultra-successful professional.

1. Realize You’re A Business-Of-One

Your career has equity. Recognize it and start to determine how to use it to your advantage. Inventory your assets as a professional and determine who is willing to pay top-dollar for them. If you don’t have valuable skills sets that are in-demand, start acquiring some.

2. Always Look To Gain An Advantage In Your Business Dealings

You must negotiate with employers. Don’t take what is given to you without a discussion. An employer is a business who is always looking for the best deal. You need to do the same. Learn to effectively negotiate pay, perks, and other benefits so you feel good about the partnership. You don’t work “for” an employer – you work “with” an employer.

3. Do Things Well

Remember that doing things well is more important than doing new things. Get focused on building your expertise and understanding how you are the aspirin to an employer’s pain. You must be great at a few things, rather than okay at a bunch of things.

4. Work With People Who Are Smarter Than You

Look for the smartest people you can work with. Find companies you admire and respect. Not for their pay and perk package, but for the kind of products or services they deliver. You must seek your professional tribe and partner with them to bring up your career game.

5. Get Clear On Your Employer’s Goals, Needs, And Business Intentions

Want to do better in your career? Try not to being so self-centered. It’s not about your needs and wants. Instead, focus on the needs, wants, and business objectives of the people you are partnering with. You’ll be able to offer more value and get more in return if you do. They are your customer. Exceed their expectations and you’ll have them eating out of your hand.

6. Be In A Position To Walk Away When The Situation Isn’t Right

Get yourself in a financial position that enables you to quit a job and survive without income for one year. Every job is temporary. You may lose a job. You may want to leave a job. In either case, having the security of savings will give you the power to make the best decisions for your business-of-one. Who wants to stay in a bad situation just for the money? Ask anyone who held on to a life-sucking job only to get laid-off how that worked for them. They’ll tell you they wish they could have left at the first sign of trouble.

7. Realize You Need Experiences And Setbacks To Move Forward

There is no real failure. We experience, learn, and grow. Stop playing it safe and start embracing your fear. As the old saying goes, “Life begins where your comfort zone ends.” You will not survive and thrive in your career if you don’t constantly learn new things. Making mistakes teaches us what not to do. That’s a good thing! Stop worrying about what others think and start worrying about what will happen if you don’t take control.

How are you taking ownership of your career? What other tips can you share for becoming an ultra-successful professional?

I’d love to hear your thoughts below.

Protect yourself from stress

Stress hits each of us differently. Some of us feel it in our bodies. Others just can't stop worrying. Back when I was doing research at Harvard, we called the kind of stress that expresses itself in the body "somatic": things like getting butterflies in your stomach, or indigestion, a racing heart or the jitters. But some people are prone to experiencing their stress mentally, for the most part. The stress that you feel in your mind -- like worrisome thoughts that keep you up at night or that continually intrude into your focus during the day -- is "cognitive" stress.

In either case, we can feel awful. And being in the grip of distress not only feels bad – it cripples our ability to work effectively.

So the trick is insulating ourselves from that negativity, or recovering from it if we do feel badly. Here the EI tools are self-awareness and self-regulation. Self-awareness lets us recognize when those distressing feelings are beginning to build. Self-regulation tells us what to do about it so we don’t end up being emotionally hijacked.

I recommend an all-around emotional self-management tactic, like a daily session of meditation or relaxation. This helps in several ways. First, it resets your brain so you are triggered less easily and less often by other people. Second, it trains your brain to recover more quickly and be more resilient. Third, it gives you a tool you can use for a few moments on the spot (or as soon as you can close your door, if you have one).

Of course, not everyone will benefit from a body-focused relaxer like yoga, just as meditation may not be the most effective way to fight stress for every person.

You don't have to take a psychological test to find out which methods will work best for you -- you can make the match most precisely through simple trial and error -- after all, you are the final judge of what will help you. But once you find a relaxer that you enjoy and that leaves you feeling less tense, try to find a time -- even just 10 or 15 minutes -- in your routine when you can practice it daily. The more you practice, the easier it will be for your body to get into that relaxed state in even a few minutes of applying your relaxation method.

If you’re not sure where to start, listen to a sample guided deep breathing exercise from my CD Relax: 6 Techniques to Lower Your Stress from More Than Sound. You can also watch this recorded webinar to learn more about choosing the right natural stress-reduction technique.

My Approach to Incentivising Your Team

One of the most important things for any business is the performance of your staff. It is vital to recruit the right people, but once they are on board you have to ensure they are happy and motivated to provide the best possible service at all times.

There are several ways you can ensure that your staff are always at the top of their game, but I have always been a firm believer in making sure the people who work for you have an emotional as well as a financial investment in the business.

The obvious and most straightforward way of ensuring staff perform at their peak is through financial incentives. If you can link pay and bonuses to tangible results then there is an obvious reward for bringing in new work and customers.

But financial incentives will only take you so far and any good leader has to work hard if he or she wants to win the loyalty of the people they are managing.

The dictatorial or heavy handed approach might get quick results in the short term, but in the long-term the best way forward is always to forge a team spirit and feeling of camaraderie.

Everyone is different and it really does pay to take the time to get to know and understand your team. This way you can fully appreciate what makes them tick and what motivates them. Some of us need encouragement and support from time to time, while other individuals might be more self-motivated and independent.

Of course the larger the company the harder it is for the Chief Executive or Director to know all their employees and their strengths and weaknesses. That is why it is vital to make the right appointments in the management team as the organisation expands, particularly if you are dealing with a fast growing business.

It’s the job of the management to know everything about the members of their team. That is why they have been appointed to that position and it should be a key part of any job description for a team leader. Remember, a business is only ever going to as strong as the weakest member of your management team.

There are other more general ways you can promote a positive atmosphere in the work place. For the new digital companies such as Google and Apple, attracting the highest calibre of staff is essential.

The only way these types of firms can stay ahead of the opposition in a tough and fast moving market place is to have the best creative minds on board. To attract the top talent you have to create the right kind of working environment.

Leading companies in any field are expected to look after their staff properly, which can mean anything from creating a modern comfortable office space to offering breakfast for people in the morning. If you are expecting staff to go the extra mile for you then you have to offer something back in return.

There is also nothing wrong with injecting a sense of fun into the workplace. Activities and social events can be a great way of building up staff morale and team spirit.

Finally, and most importantly of all, remember to give praise to people if they have done something to earn it. Deep down people are all the same and everyone wants to be liked and appreciated. A little bit of praise at the right time can make a very big difference in terms of performance.

The 3 Biggest Resume Mistakes

In a typical week I spend on average 10% of my time screening resumes, interviewing or reviewing interview notes and offers for candidates we want to join the team. Talent management is a core pillar of our company strategy and one of my most important responsibilities. I have reviewed thousands of resumes over my career and built a system to categorize them into yes, no and the dreaded maybe buckets. The resumes that go into either the yes or the no piles are usually very easy to identify. But I often think about the maybes. These resumes get saved as a backup but in reality, never get a chance to be in the field of play.

With over 200M resumes on LinkedIn, it will be harder and harder for a maybe to become ayes which is the first step in landing a new job. Great candidates with fantastic backgrounds can get condemned to the maybe pile because the resume didn’t represent them well and didn’t make an impression in the 30 seconds an average hiring manager spends on filtering a resume.

I find there are three big mistakes that usually cause an otherwise great resume to be filtered out in a screening process:

1) Focusing on the wrong thing: I often see candidates explain their responsibilities and list them in great detail, but forget to highlight their results. The unique things they did that their predecessors had not. What were their specific accomplishments and what sets them apart? The more quantitative, the easier for a screener or hiring manager to understand and select them for the next discussion. Numbers and metrics speak louder than words. Vague generalities are the kryptonite of a resume.

2) Writing a thesis when a synopsis is needed: Mark Twain once said, “if only I had more time, I would write thee a shorter letter”. When writing a resume, it is important to heed these words and take the time to really write succinctly and precisely. The longer and more dense a resume, the harder it is for a recruiter to get to the heart of your achievements and contributions. Precise, clear, factual, numbers driven resumes will always get more traction.

3) Leaving unanswered red flags: Candidates will often wait for the interview process to explain any red flags or gaps that may be on their resume, but by that time it may be too late. In most cases, they won’t make it that far if the issues are not explained on the resume, cover letter or LinkedIn profile itself. Candidates should put on the hiring manager’s hat and look at their own resumes with this filter and then proactively address any of these issues in a clear and unambiguous way. A couple of examples of what I mean:

• Let’s say someone has moved around a lot in their career. A screener may see this as inability finish things they start or an indication that they aren’t a committed candidate. It behooves you to explain the reasons for the movement where possible. Was it a corporate change, like an acquisition, that caused the moves? Or is it an indication that you were looking for more of a challenge?
• Let’s say someone is applying for an engineering role but doesn’t have an engineering degree. This should be addressed in the objectives and the resume should reflect any and all skills that do relate to the job you are looking for. Do you have any relevant certifications? Are you self-taught? Can you link to any code you have written?

It is worth the extra effort to make your online profile rock solid. That’s the only way to convert the page views into clicks on your resume.

Oh and one other thing, in this day and age, there is no excuse for typos and grammar mistakes in a resume. Those types of errors demonstrate a lack of detail orientation and commitment, and may result in your resume going into the no bucket.

I’d love to hear if you agree with these, and which other resume mistakes you’d add to the list.